"I need to see him. Just once."
For as long as he could remember, Connla's always wanted that. Even being told his father was a vicious cur, that he's better off never knowing him, Connla couldn't just pretend that he didn't need to know who his father was. Aífe wanted them to meet, but for her own reasons, and wanted Connla under no illusions about his father's true nature. Even so, that didn't really matter to him. If his father was a terrible person, that was fine.
Life wasn't all bad though. Relentless taskmaster she might've been, he loved his mother, and she loved him, in her own way. Aífe wasn't often warm, but she was always caring.
She constantly pushed him to the brink, but with a full smile, made sure to praise him whenever he succeeded. She gave him no quarter when they sparred, but never forced him to fight again until he thought he was ready. Her scoldings were blunt, but light, coming from a place of instruction rather than frustration.
Aífe was far from the perfect mother, but to Connla, she couldn't have been anything but.
"I don't care what he'll think of me, or how he might be."
When he'd matured a little, Connla began training with Scáthach. He greeted her and her daughter Uathach with bright eyes and implacable conviction, ready for whatever could be thrown at him.
She didn't need clairvoyance to know what was in store for him.
So day after day, she tried to break his spirit.
But day after day, Connla showed up eager for his next lesson.
It didn't matter how many times his bones were broken, his body riddled with wounds, his mind utterly tormented. He had something to do, so he just couldn't give up yet.
Scáthach was his aunt, but it was because she was his aunt that she'd gone that far to try and keep him from leaving. But as time went by, and spars seemed to keep him down less and less, as contending with hordes of despairing wraiths ceased to terrify him, and as Connla seemed not to change one bit, his fate's inevitability was all too clear.
"I need to see him, but it's more than that. I just...I—"
Connla left Dún Scáith, received his father's only gift, and set out in search of him. Aífe had simply told Connla to find him, and that just asking after him would be enough to be pointed in the right direction. He checked place after place, asked person after person, but as a result of his Geas, the result was almost always a fight. Not that it really mattered. Connla would simply beat them and move on. And that's how it was, until it really did lead him to the Hound of Ulster.
Even if he hadn't been told who it was, Connla would've recognized him on sight. He could "feel" it as soon as their eyes met. And for just a moment, he wanted to tell him everything, to pour his heart out to this man he didn't even know. But he didn't. And when their battle started in earnest, he wouldn't.
Broken and bloodied beyond belief, barely capable of standing, and neither of them were even close to giving up. Yet it had to end. His father drew a crimson spear that set every one of Connla's nerves on edge. He knew he should've backed down right then and there. But he couldn't turn back, and wouldn't have nevertheless. Connla readied his own weapon.
If he'd only known about the Gáe Bolg's deadly barbs, he might've been able to prevent it's use. But Connla was faster, his spear just barely set to fly first, and ensure that at the very least, they were going to kill each other.
Except, at the last possible second.
"—I need him to see me."
Connla couldn't kill his own father.
His grip slackened. Connla's spear fell, while Gáe Bolg struck true.
Connla died in the arms of a father who'd never known him, while thinking of the mother he'd left behind, and the days he'd never see.